Tuesday, June 30, 2009

When you think you got it all figured out...

I would love to be a teacher... I have always had a fascination with US Government and US History. I think it comes from being a junkie for current events, but possibly because of the influence a teacher had on me growing up. Some thought I would go into music, but I don't really have the desire for it as a career.

Now, what is my problem with being a teacher? I think it is 2 things. First, I can't afford the pay cut I would take to change careers. People freak out when they hear that I drive 2 hours each way to work daily, and that I love it. What they don't realize is that I make more than most people in the education field could ever dream of. And lets face it, I have become somewhat vain. I like my toys. I like my stuff. Second is the fact that the education system in this great country has some very known problems. We retain poor educators based on union bias, but passionate and motivational teachers get passed up because they don't have tenure? I apologize, but I am better not being in that environment with my mouth.

I know several people who are unemployed right now because of market down-turn or their own wishes to hold out for something better. I can relate to their problems as I was unemployed just 3 years ago and looking for a good job. Luckily, I was able to find a job that has subsequently taken me from zero to superstar in only a couple of years. My level of influence and power has far exceeded my imagination, and I have benefited from countless promotions. I don't say it to brag, but I say it because those who doubt that you can succeed need to know that I was (and am) very pessimistic (or a realist by my own belief) and have had great success regardless of myself.

What is my secret? I trust that who I am, and what I am, is actually good enough for someone, even if I don't believe it myself. Countless times in the last 6 years I have felt like ending it all, but I know that deep within me is the capacity to be great, and I live that out every day.

A very wise and wonderful woman (and yes, ex girlfriend) once told me that it didn't matter what everyone else thought of me, only what I thought of me. She surrounded me with love and support at the most trying time of my early military career and of course, I pushed her away because I was so full of myself I couldn't trust her to help me (she was in Wisconsin, me in Texas, and distance scares me). Greatly, she has moved on to what I imagine is the most wonderful of things and is happy. All the while, I am not so much.

Did she have it figured out? Who knows, but I imagine what she told me all those years ago would still work today...

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